The Kiss List Read online

  I scooted forward in line. “Great. Not only am I a terrible kisser, I wet myself. That’s just great.” I reached the front of the line. “Just load me up with whatever.” The worker—probably a college student taking summer courses—arched an eyebrow, but didn’t say anything as she plopped food onto a plate.

  Liam stood close, so our arms were touching. “What happened?”

  “Exactly what it looked like.”

  “So, like, you didn’t spill water on yourself or . . .”

  I bit my lip and shook my head in anger. I could lie, but what would be the point in that? It was me against them. And it totally just blew a shotgun round through my kiss list.

  “I had to pee, they knew it, and they also know my ticklish spot, and Val happened to have her phone, and apparently the whole team hates me, and so does the universe, and why did I come here again?” I took the plate from the worker, giving her a short but thankful smile.

  Liam blew out a long breath. “Tough break.”

  “Totally ruins my plans,” I muttered. I stopped short when I realized I’d said that out loud. I’d been talking to him like I would Kaitlyn or Hayley, which was just downright crazy. I shakily took a seat at an empty table.

  “What plans?” He sat down across from me at the empty table. His plate was piled as high as mine.

  No way I was telling him about my kiss list. “World domination.” I stuffed some scrambled eggs in my mouth. “What else?”

  He laughed at my chipmunk cheeks, and probably because I sounded funny with food in my mouth. It was nice sitting with Liam. I could be myself and not have to worry about being pretty or proper.

  The bacon was perfectly crispy. I eyed the French toast and pancakes, not sure which one to start with. So, I just dumped a ton of syrup on the plate and dove in.

  “You should be glad you came,” Liam said. “You belong here.”

  I stopped chewing and stared at him. He was right. Again. Gah. Why was this becoming a thing—him being right? But I did belong there. Softball was my high. The one thing that gave me an infinite amount of pleasure.

  The bench jostled as someone sat down next to me. I turned to find Alejandro, looking as sexy as ever with his baseball hat and the smallest hint of stubble. My cheeks were still stuffed with pancakes and French toast.

  “Did you see?” Alejandro asked, a sympathetic look in his eyes, which was the exact opposite of sexy. I didn’t want sympathy. I wanted understanding.

  I swallowed my food. “I thought there was a no-phone policy. How is this possibly spreading?” And was there a way for me to wipe the memory from Alejandro, Mason, and Isaac’s minds like they never found out it happened?

  Liam chuckled. “You don’t really think everyone turned in their phones, right?”

  I did. There was no way Coach Wilkes would have let me keep mine. Maybe if I had been a favorite of hers, I could have, but those days were long past.

  As if to prove his point, Liam took his phone out of his pocket and wiggled it at me.

  “You’re a volunteer,” I muttered, “so you can have one.” Just like Val could. She’s a trainer, not a player..

  Alejandro showed me his phone as well. “We all snuck into Coach’s room while he was asleep and got them back.”

  As I glanced around, I noticed almost everyone had their phones. “That’s just great. Really. So freaking great.” No way would Alejandro be kissing me now. Who wanted to make out with the girl who wet herself? That was as far from sexy as possible. I stared at my food, not sure if I could eat any more.

  Val sauntered up to the table and leaned toward me. “Did you remember your diaper today?”

  I expected Alejandro and Liam to laugh, but they both shot her angry glares. She was too busy waiting for my reaction to notice theirs. My hands balled into fists. I’d tried the ‘not responding to it’ approach, and that hadn’t worked.

  But Val just stood there, hand on her hip, sporting a triumphant look, and I couldn’t take it anymore. I picked up my half-eaten plate of food and shoved the syrupy mess right into her face. I turned the plate back and forth, making sure it really dug into her.

  Her shrieks were muffled by the plate and food. Her lanky arms flailed around, and for the briefest moment, satisfaction ran through my veins.

  “COLLINS!” Coach Wilkes’ voice boomed through the room.

  My high vanished. I removed the plate from Val’s face and set it on the table. Val’s arms were spread wide as she leaned forward, the syrup and remnants of my breakfast dripping down her face and onto the tiled floor. What a waste of perfectly good food.

  Coach Wilkes’ eyes were practically popping out of her head. She took in the scene, her angry gaze finally landing on me. “I will not tolerate this behavior. If we weren’t so far away, I’d send you back home.”

  Ava and Izzy escorted a crying Val out of the mess hall, but not before shooting me dirty looks.

  “First,” Coach Wilkes said, “you’re going to clean up this mess. Then you can run five miles around the track and think through your actions.” She stepped in close to me. “I know it’s been a while, Camille, but I expected more from you.” She rubbed her large forehead and muttered something under her breath that I couldn’t quite make out.

  “I’m sorry, Coach,” I said. “I shouldn’t have overreacted like that.”

  She dropped her hand. “Overreacted to what?”

  All the softball and baseball players stared at me, an urgency in their eyes. They didn’t want me to rat them out for having their phones. The thought was awfully tempting. I was the only one without a phone. All of them had seen my picture and laughed about it.

  But if I wanted back on their good sides, tattling wouldn’t get me anywhere. I stared at the mess on the ground. “Nothing. It’s nothing. I messed up. It won’t happen again.”

  She held up two stumpy fingers. “That’s the second time you’ve said that to me since we got here. If you want even a sliver of a chance to get back on the team, you better change your attitude.” She switched to one finger. “You have one more try. If something like this happens again, that will be strike three. I’m sure you remember what that means.”

  I sighed. “I’m out.”

  She pointed at the ground. “Clean it up. Then five miles. You can join us when you’re done.”

  When coach had walked away, Liam hurried over to me. He held up his phone, showing me a video of me rubbing my plate in Val’s face. “Say the word, and I’ll post it.”

  I took the phone from him and pressed “delete” before I handed it back. “No. I don’t want to play that way.” I rubbed my eyes with my thumb and forefinger. It was nice not having to worry about smearing makeup. “All I wanted was one good piece of my life back. One. Now I’m not even sure if that’s possible.”

  Mom certainly wasn’t going to start being a mom again. I wasn’t getting Dylan back, not that I really wanted him. I’d lost my chance at kissing Alejandro and probably Mason. Isaac, too, when he saw the picture—if he hadn’t already.

  Softball was one thing I thought I could get back.

  At least I still had Kaitlyn and Hayley. Too bad I couldn’t call them and hear their voices. I could sneak into Coach’s room and get my phone back, but I wasn’t taking any chances. It was staying there until she handed it back.

  “Want help?” Liam eyed the floor.

  “No, thanks. I need to do this on my own.”

  Four days. I just had to survive four more days. And somehow make Alejandro and Mason forget about what happened so I could resume my kiss list.

  Chapter 21

  By Wednesday night, every muscle in my body was aching for relief. Coach wasn’t the least bit gentle with us, especially me. The only peace I had was that everyone was keeping a large distance from me. It didn’t stop the stares and the laughter, but it beat new things happening to me. I’d taken every opportunity I could to flirt with Alejandro, trying to remind him of the non-wetting version of myself.

>   After dinner, I took a long, cold shower. I wanted to ice my body, but that would mean going to Val for help, and that wasn’t going to happen. Not that I didn’t want to ask for her help, I just worried she’d do something else to me.

  I hobbled down the stairs and over to the mess hall. Maybe there was ice in the kitchen.

  “Hey, Camille.”

  I slowly turned to see Mason. He’d cut his blonde hair to a short length, styled and gelled perfectly. He wore a white baseball tee with blue sleeves that said ‘Team Read’ on it, looking hotter than ever.

  If I hadn’t been in so much pain, I probably would have been happy to see him. I hadn’t had much time to interact with him at camp, aside from the casual smile and wave. I’d thought about approaching him a few times, but Mason struck me as the type who’d come to me when he was comfortable. The last thing I wanted to do was scare the guy.

  “Hey, Mason. How was Hawaii?”

  He rubbed the back of his neck and stared at the cement. “Fun.” His green eyes met mine. “I meant to call you, I just…”

  “Don’t worry about it. I’m not really high on the list of people’s favorites right now.”

  When he scrunched his light eyebrows in confusion, I just shook my head and moved toward the kitchen. Mason’s dreamy eyes were such a distraction, I worried I’d say something stupid.

  He jogged to catch up with me. “Where you going?”

  “Hoping to find ice.”

  “Why don’t you go to the trainer?”

  A laugh escaped my mouth, but it cut off when I saw he was serious. “Yeah, sure, let me go to Val. I’m sure she’s dying to help me.”

  “Well, it’s her job.” His tone told me he had no idea why I wouldn’t want to face Val. “She’s really nice.”

  I stopped and turned to him. “I know. We just aren’t on good terms right now. I’m tired. I’m sore. I just want some freaking ice.”

  A smile tugged at his lips. “I’m sure the baseball trainer would be willing to help you out.”

  “Do you know where he is?”

  “Follow me.” He took off at way too fast a pace for my sore body.

  “You’re going to have to slow down if you want me to keep up.” Hitting up the batting cages every day hadn’t been enough. I should have been focused on cardio as well. It had been way too long since my body had that kind of exercise.

  Mason slowed down until he was at my side. “Seen any good movies lately?”

  I shook my head. “Unfortunately, I haven’t made it back to the theater since the last time. Life and friends have kept me busy.” I lifted my left shoulder in a shrug. “Money is also a factor.”

  “I could probably get you in for free.” His cheeks reddened. “I mean, if you wanted.”

  Maybe Mason hadn’t seen the picture of me. But it would be almost impossible for him to not have heard about it. Everyone was talking.

  “Do you have your phone?” I asked.

  “Coach does.”

  Mason was one to follow the rules. I respected that.

  “That’s right.” I inhaled sharply. My thighs, shins, and calves were killing me. Plus, my shoulders, arms, and back. Oh, and my feet. “Don’t you feel like your body is about to combust?”

  He laughed, the sound light and airy. “Not really. But I’m used to Coach pushing us like this.”

  Right. Most of the people there probably were.

  We entered the gym and looked around for the baseball trainer, but he wasn’t there. No one was. They were probably all relaxing for the night.

  “Maybe he headed back to the hall for game night,” Mason said.

  I looked up at him. “Game night?”

  His cheeks went red again. “Yeah. Everyone’s meeting in the rec hall and playing board games. I was coming to find you since you weren’t there.” At my frown, his eyes went wide in slight horror. “You didn’t know about it?”

  No. Great. That meant I had to walk all the way back to the kitchen in hopes of finding ice. I was on my own. My new theme song. Ugh. That made me Éponine, Dylan was Marius, and Raelynn was Cosette. Éponine died in the arms of Marius.

  Except, I wasn’t pining for Marius, aka Dylan. I just wanted to make out with some of Marius’ buddies. And most definitely not die.

  “Thanks for coming to get me, Mason.” I squeezed his arm, my hand lingering a little too long when I felt the muscle. “At least one person doesn’t hate me.” Dread crept in. “Unless this is some sort of prank . . .” I glanced around the empty weight room, expecting to see some people jumping out or throwing food at me.

  He quickly shook his head. “What? No. It’s not a prank.” He scratched the side of his head. “How come no one told you?”

  “Do you seriously not know what’s going on?”

  “No.”

  I almost sighed, but then stopped myself, taking in my situation. I was alone with Mason. He knew nothing about the picture, or what I did to Val afterward. There was a good chance he hadn’t heard the bad kisser rumor, either. I had a golden opportunity to make a move. But I hurt so bad, and I’d probably frighten him. The situation wasn’t romantic at all.

  “Go ask anyone here. They’ll be more than happy to tell you all about it.” I moved toward the door. “Okay, I really need ice and to lay down. Thanks for your help, Mason. Have fun at game night.” I pushed out the door and hobbled my way back toward the kitchen.

  Mason caught up with me again. “You sure you don’t want to play?”

  Why was he so nice? It made it hard to concentrate. I sat down on a bench, needing to relieve my body of the pain. He sat down next to me.

  “I’ll give you the condensed version.” I rubbed my forearms. “No one here likes me all that much, especially the softball players. They didn’t invite me to play because they don’t want me there.”

  He leaned forward, resting his arms on his legs. “Why don’t they like you?”

  “Spoiler alert: I’m not that great of a person. Apparently, I’m shallow, self-serving, bossy, rude, and a bunch of other things.” I moved on to rubbing my calves, hoping to work out some of the pain, and block out the fact that I’d just revealed all of that to Mason. What was wrong with me? That was definitely not in the manual of how to woo a guy.

  “Let me help.” Mason got down on his knees, his warm hands landing on my calf. My breath caught in my throat at his touch. The boy really knew how to use his hands. It was my turn for my cheeks to warm. He cleared his throat. “I don’t think you’re all those things. You’ve always been nice to me.”

  “You make it easy.” I thought of the salty glares all the girls had given me. It made it hard to want to like them. But it didn’t make them bad people. They just misunderstood me. I needed to fix their perception of me, and everything I’d been doing had only made it worse.

  Mason moved on to my other calf. My right leg was already feeling better.

  “Okay, I think I’m going to hire you as my personal trainer,” I said. “I can’t pay, though. You’ll just have to suffer through my personality.”

  He chuckled. “I actually want to be an athletic trainer. That’s what I’m going to school for.”

  “Not baseball?”

  His hands worked through my sore muscles, relaxing them. “Nah. I just play it for fun. It’s not my passion. I prefer to help players.”

  “That’s awesome.” I bit my lower lip when he dug deep into a tightened muscle. “You’re a natural at it.”

  A blush rose from his neck to his cheeks. “Thanks.”

  I stared up at the blue sky. The sun was close to setting. “You’re missing game night.”

  He let go of my leg. “Where else hurts?”

  I pointed to my arms and shoulders. Mason sat back down on the bench and took my right arm.

  “Is it weird that I’d actually rather be doing this instead?” His voice was barely audible.

  “Not really. It’s nice and quiet out here.” Even if I had been invited to play games, I wasn
’t in the mood for loud voices and talking. I hadn’t had this much peace in the longest time.

  Mason grinned. “And Ava’s laughing.”

  I snorted, and then covered up my nose in embarrassment. But Mason just broke out in a warm laugh that made me join in.

  “It’s so loud,” I said through my laughter.

  “It reminds me of a hyena.”

  My laughter grew, and I didn’t hold back.

  Mason got up and sat down on the other side of me so he could work on my left arm. “Your laugh is much better.”

  With him so close, I had a chance to take him all in. His blond eyelashes were long. He had a few acne scars, but so did I. It always made someone more human to me when I saw that. I’d always felt the need to cover them up with Dylan.

  Mason smelled like Irish Spring soap. A small ladybug landed in his hair, and I smiled. Instead of flicking it away like Liam would have done, I reached up, gently removed it, and held it in my hand. It crawled over my thumb and toward my wrist.

  I was smiling big at it when I looked up at Mason. He’d stopped rubbing my arm, and his eyes were on my lips. He locked eyes with me, and when I didn’t back away, he slowly moved forward, his eyes on my lips again.

  It was the perfect moment. We were all alone on the bench. It was a nice evening, the sun having just set, the pink and orange hues fading.

  In a matter of seconds, I could have Mason crossed off my list. At the thought, I quickly stood and rubbed my arm where he’d been holding it. For some reason, I couldn’t just kiss him. Mason wasn’t like the other guys. He was relationship material. I wasn’t ready for that, and it wouldn’t be fair to lead him on.

  “I think I’m going to head up to bed.” I couldn’t get myself to look at him. I worried his reaction could shatter my heart. “Thank you so much for helping. My sore muscles appreciate it.”

  He quickly got to his feet and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Yeah, sure. Anytime.”

  I forced myself to look up at him, and my heart melted. There was a mixture of hope and sadness mixed in his eyes. I smiled softly. “Thanks for keeping me company, too. It’s nice to talk to someone and not have them yelling at me or criticizing me.” I turned to walk away but stopped at his voice.